My Blog

I no longer blog in friendster…

I will blog in myspace only…

http://nakatadespace.spaces.live.com/

haha…previously all my blogs also with those sad sad de story de…finaly i have new blog with sumthing happy de…tat is…i got a new BF!!!haha…@_@… za dou leh???hehe…sien leh alwiz c my blogs with break up la…wat happen la…haha…no more!!! N0 MORE!!! im totaly very very happy now…

tks 2 my dear-JASON…4 giving me the happiness…haha…very very hang fook now!!!hahaha…(ppl dun jealous ya>???) kaka…

hope tat v wil 2gether 4ever n ever la…i love u jason..hehe…YEAH!!!

tis is the 3rd time i break with u…so hows my feeling???i also duno…quiet tired d in tis relationship…but cant deny tat i stil have sum feelings on u…but tats not love or like…juz DEPEND…b4 tat i was too depend on u…do wat also ask u…wan wat also ask u…now…i have 2 walk the road on my own…begin my new life without u…its quiet hard 4 me 2 sudenly miz sum1 tat alwiz b with me…now i have 2 figure out the things around me on myself…i never felt tat hard b4 2 walk through my life…coz i alwiz depend on u b4…

i had been loving u truly madly deeply…so i think i din miz out anything…im happy 2 have u b4…i wil keep tat as a happy memory…

tis time…i think i wana break it all relationship with u…although sumtime i wil worry about u…on ur studies…ur family…ur relationship with other fren…i do worried about u…but tats a waste of time n energy d…i dun wan put myself into the trap anymore…

n now heard tat u chasing other gal d…work it out man…hope u can get a happy life there…wish u gd luck n may all the happiness b with u alwiz…n i wil find my happiness also…hope every1 is happy!!!

YEAH~~~~

lastly…share a nice quote with u all:::

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down…

Gonna 3 months aledi…y u stil on my mind?is bcoz of u now r stil around me?stil chat with me?stil sms me?stil msn me?stil find me?but y?y i treat u as a fren?n y should i wana treat u as fren?n not others?or y i stil wana stay contact with u?y dun i juz chop off our relationship?go have our own life,no any relationship?i wish 2 do so…I WISH I DUNO U!!!

i dun wan have those ambiguity relationship with u…wat 4?im juz a backup rite?i really a stupid la…u aledi like other gal…u so love her…good!!!is good wat…haha…but me?ya…i do like other guy…i noe i do have choices…but then i stil cant let go sum1…how can i accept other guy…not fair too…my mouth say can 4get but seem like heart doesn’t do the same way…i really try my best 2 4get u…but when i chat with u…i do have sum unwanted feelings…GOD!!!help me!i wan 4get u!can?time pass so slow…i need time 2 4get u…plz…i wan fast!

wat 4 u wan show me her pic?n wat 4 i wana go n c?i think im the stupiest gal in the world…suffer myself…i also felt fed up about my thought…alwiz same de…din change…alwiz say cant 4get…ai…when only i can say I ALEDI 4GET U>?i hate myself so soft hearted…i really cant do many resolute decision…im too dependent…ai…how?wan how?b stronger la stupid poh yi!!!really stupid!!!

tis world canot say tat dun have who cant survive de…rite?so…lets fight with the frustration!!!i wana win tis battle!!i dun wan lose 2 the things tat doensn’t mean anything 2 me…frenz!!!give me sum motivation!!!let me wake up!!!i dun wan b like tis anymore…i wan bec 2 my normal life!!!i wana b the poh yi tat alwiz tat cheerful! niKE—juz do it!!!haha….

11th of SEpt…wat a memorable day…2 years ago tis day is my happiest day of tat year…haha…recall up tat day…v r too shy 2 express wat v thought…i was too shy also…haha…lucky u manage 2 say it out also…haha…n then v r a C0_p_e…hehe…

2 years later…v r frenz…not 2 say frenz…v r "sister"…haha….rite?hope v can maintain our relationship…n hope u r happy also…i also dun wan unhappy things happen 2 u…do tel me or ask me if u have any problems…i wil try my best 2 help u…

10th SepT 2006, my bro get into accident…wat a shock!!!actualy tat day i wish 2 sleep longer since i din get enough sleep b4 tat…but sudenly my mom wake me up n say my bro get into accident…have 2 rush 2 hospital…oh goD!wat happen?m i dreaming?wat tis things happen 2 our family?i quickly wash up(actualy my dad ask me no need wash up juz jump into the car,but i beh tahan i so dirty,i curi curi go wash up,hahaha)n then faster take all my things then jump into the car…but wait…i 4get the most important things!my hp!!!how can i 4get my sweetheart???haha….i faster run into house n take it under my pillow…then jump into my car again….on the way…my mom is panic…alwiz ask wana fon my bro anot le?how is he le?ai…so panic 4 wat le?i told my mom: at least the ppl who tel u he got acctident is ur son…not other ppl…haha….rite???when reach there…i c my bro lying on the bed…seem like no energy…but wat attract my attention is i saw my bro’s slipper full of blood!!!aiks!!!so disgusting…even the floor also with blood…then i look up to my bro…wat the hell!his whole body also hurt…his every single toe also with palster…his ankle lost a part of skin…oh my god..my bro seem very cham…tis is his 1st time accident while drive motor…his gf told us there was sum sign of foretoken…she say when he woke up in the morning…he was fine…but when he wana go market with her…he sudenly become emotional…scold her…call him no respon…then sudenly drive the motor so fast….ask him slower dun listen…n then sudenly bang the divider…n fell…luckily bhind no car is cuming…if not????~~~!!!!!

tis is the lesson 4 my bro…but i do think tis lesson is too expensive n serious…i felt like crying in my heart…so sad he is like tat even he wil have his final exam few days later…im worry about him….hope he wil b fine in ipoh…take care bro~~~

s0…tis is the 1st time i write blog…actualy i dun like blogging at all last time but i think tat i can write those my feelings into it…quiet nice also…haha….can learn my writing skills also…my english so zhar…haha…

yesterday….my koko(che Kian)not formal bro la…haha….let me feel wat is kind n care…when he noe i have problem straightaway drive his car from sentul 2 pj here at 1am sumthing n bring me go yum cha…let me stress out wat i had keep it deep inside my heart…let me say out all the grievance…but i had promised him not 2 cry bside infront of him…i wont cry myself n i have 2 b strong…not 2 b so depend others…in my daily life he use 2 sms me or fon me or msn me alwiz…wana noe all my things…coz he dun wan me 2 b sad…alwiz guide me…i really happy with tat…he care me so much…i love u koko!!~~~

erm…wat alwiz surrounding me is alwiz those things tat not happy ge la…ai…duno y…wana b happy also so sun fu…although can say tat happy is find out by ur own self de…but i really cant find…wat im happy 4 now is fake…so fake…haha…lie 2 myself tat im happy…ai….so cham…i had saw sumthing tat i dun wish 2 c…y the god wil treat me like tat le?i wana ask tat y cant the couples last 4ever…b the only 1 til die…y have break up la…those word???y cant they juz b 2gether 4ver?y wan like other gal?y have problem?y cant juz happy 4ever?i juz dun wan change bf alwiz…i wan love 1 til die…canot meh?really canot meh?y wan change heart?wat had sweard…promised…all is aledi nonsense…stupid!!!actualy im not willing 2 4get it…but wat 4?remember it 4 wat?suffer urself?ya…suffer urself…u also noe wil suffer urself y stil wana think about it?really stupid!!i duno i wil tat stupid ever…so so so stupid…wat i had done all is aledi pass…dun wana think tat who sacrifice more…think widely la stupid…

i wana tel tat i appreciate who tat love me so much…i noe u all treat me so good…care me…but sumtime its depends the feel,n time wil prove all the things,whether suitable anot…4 us 2 have another relationship…hope u all understand my words…n my feel….

frenz is important!!!really important!!!they wil really help in watever situation…im glad tat i noe them…really love them so much…i wont 4get wat u all had teach,guide,support me…i noe u all treat me so good…tks god 2 let me knew them in my life…i think juz have fren tat wil b with u 4ever…except family la…family is sure ge la…duno how 2 tk them…anyway…i wil remember u all~~~

another things,the exam…ai…duno y i alwiz last minute only study…is the last few hour only got heart 2 study…y le?y i cant remember wat i had studied in the lecture or in tutorial…now i had finish 3 paper d…2 more papers 2 go…ai…wait die la…i wan save sum money 2 resit d…at Utar 1 paper wan Rm 100 ga…shit lo…wan how le?haha…wana b sot ge la….1st year 1st sem aledi like tat…wat 2 do later?haha…hope i can tahan til the last year n last sem….dun fall down r~~~